Jeanette Pryor

In a shocking, pre-dawn announcement, President Obama upheld his end of the bargain, and named D. Scozzafava his Special Advisor on Reproductive Rights, thus rewarding the Republican Candidate for his only consolation in the November 3rd Elections, otherwise a PR nightmare for the neophyte Executive. The President’s call to the Scozzafava residence came right after the “Thank You” from Democrat Owens who, as he put it, “Couldn’t have done it without her.”

“Ms. Scozzafava’s special recognition by Pro-Abortion organizations and her talent as a politcal hermaphrodite make her a natural here in Washington,” noted the President. “We are thrilled to have the kind of Bi-Partisanship that results when Republicans are willing to put principles behind them and move forward.”

HHS Secretary, Kathleen Sebelius, while bewildered by Ms. Scozzafava’s overnight appointment, was happy to welcome, as she put it, “a Republican like my colleagues from Kansas who understand the career advantages of not being narrow-minded when it comes to murdering unborn babies.” Sebelius was no doubt referring to the endorsement she benefited from when the sometimes Pro-Life, Brownback and Roberts hailed her Cabinet nomination as, “Good for Kansans.”

Republican Scozzafava is thrilled with her reward. “Anita said I shouldn’t expect a call till late next week!” beamed the GOP pick for Congress. “Here in D.C., I can still give a voice to the victims of the hatred in New York.”

Scozzafava is on the fast track to D.C., since her first mission is to convince moderate Republicans and Democrats of the need to fund the killing of unwanted or inconvenient babies, a minor detail that is stalling support for the Health Care Bills. “Americans need to stop wasting money on reinforcements for soldiers in Afghanistan, and invest in Feticide,” Scozzafava insisted. “Like I told NARAL, I like to think of safe-sex for teen-agers as our first Homeland Security issue!” laughed Dede.

Robert Gibbs, White House Spokesman, pointed out that the throng of Republicans who heeded the voices of Gingrich and Steele and voted for Ms. Scozzafava yesterday, are “a clear indication that the Republican Leadership, in spite of the handful of Far-Right Radicals and the influence of that chick from Alaska, can still be counted on to nominate and fund the type of public servants that advance the egalitarian dreams of great Americans like Alinski and Soros.”

“I was honored to receive the Margaret Sanger Award,” concluded an emotional Scozzafava, “I would have loved to bring her racial-eugenics policies to a greater acceptance in New York, particularly in our African-American neighborhoods, like Sanger did. But I am really happy to find a lot of enthusiasm for her social agenda among the President’s comrades. I am all fired up and ready to go.”

Yes, I am kidding, Reagan Orphans, this is only political satire. But…didn’t you find it just a little too easy to believe?

Yes, Sarah, The Cause Lives.

Jeanette Pryor
Fight the Mental Burqa